by Kit G. July 1, 1999
“Those who observe human nature see that those that observe nothing think that life happens to them.  What happened to the free will choice of deciding to be?” Jamie Sams, Seneca Nation
When I was drinking and tormented, I used to say I didn’t ask to be born, I didn’t ask for years of misery, I didn’t ask for everything to go wrong in my life. I held the viewpoint that life just happened to me,
I conveniently forgot that I was graced with ‘free will.’
C.S. Lewis wrote: “There are two kinds of people:  Those who say to God, ‘Thy will be done,’ and those to whom God says ‘All right, then, have it your way.’ 
For years, I was of the second variety!  I took my ‘free will’ and ran with it.  And, yup, God gave me as much rope as I needed.
“So it is by circumstance rather than by any virtue that we have been driven to A.A., have admitted defeat, have acquired the rudiments of faith, and now want to make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to a Higher Power…”  12×12, page 38.
“It is when we try to make our will conform with God’s will that we begin to use it rightly…  our trouble had been the misuse of will power.  We had tried to bombard our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with God’s intention for us…and Step Three opens the door.”  12×12, page 40.
And so, I surrendered my will and my journey in life truly began to move forward.
The Third Tradition told me all I needed was a ‘desire to stop drinking.’  And ‘free will’, when used rightly expresses the desire and determination to do something positive.  The first step of creating anything is desire, the next step is decision, and the next is taking action.
The one gift given to each human being is the freedom of choice, it is my responsibility to use it the best way possible.  The voice of my will lies deep inside and directs me to seek God’s will when I take the time to listen.  Today, the reverence for life and self-respect heighten my desire to grow spiritually.  Through this ‘conscious contact’ I replenish myself spiritually and find the peace that I sought for so long.
“God’s will is not an itinerary, but an attitude.” Anonymous